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Wednesday 27 April 2011

the night stole my day

Insomnia! I couldn't sleep last night. Not sure if it was the Latte I had at 9pm or the flu tablet with caffeine I took at about 11pm that was the cause of my troubles last night. But at 3am I was gently telling myself to just surrender, hoping this would finally be the right strategy to send me into la la land. I woke at 8am, of course I would wake up at 8am after only getting to sleep after 3am, feeling like a tonne of bricks just landed on my head. The day was forever lost. And I had great 'academic' plans for today, plans I'm not sure will come to fruition and that really sucks.

Along with the thousand of thoughts floating through my head as I tried to fall asleep early this morning - I thought about my PhD. It would seem that my life - yes my real life - has precedence over the PhD. All my personal issues and complications take up about 70% of my head space leaving only about 30% for all matters PhD. One would think I could devote more time and energy to this temporary endeavour, knowing that it will end, and when it's done, it's done and I cant go back and say - 'darn if only I gave it more time I would have done so much better'. And if that doesn't get me motivated - maybe the acknowledgement that the British government is paying good money to get me educated - should get me thinking that the least I could do is give it all of my energy and time.

But life gets in the way - or maybe I allow life to get in the way, but shouldn't it?

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