support

I'm very conscious that I have just 11 days left in the mother city before my return to the cold north (read into my word choice what you like). I would like to say that I can't believe time has passed so quickly, but I can believe it. I knew this would be the case when I landed just after 6am on that bright Saturday morning in January. Time would pass quickly, I wouldn't get to do everything I set out to do, I wouldn't get to see everyone I wanted to see or spend the amount of time with everyone I expected or wanted to. This is just how it is. I think I could stay for six months and at the end of that period I would leave and express similar sentiments - well maybe this is a slight exaggeration. But reflecting on my visit I think one sentiment shines through...support. I've been offered and received such unconditional support in both the academic-work and personal spheres of my life. It's beyond expressing my appreciation because in some ways I feel simply saying thank you doesn't go far enough to capture how taken up I've been with the level of generosity shown towards me. While I don't want to give either kind of support more status than the other, as this is where I talk about my PhD journey, I feel I can say more about the kind of advice, guidance and time people have given me, in the most generous ways, to explore and untangle issues related to my academic work. Before I left for the UK I almost expected this kind of generosity or maybe I was just so used to receiving it. It was just how it was - if you asked, most times people offered their support almost unconditionally. But over the past three years my perceptions and experience of what support means has shifted. Asking for support these days is always preceded by considerations of the impact of that request on the other person and an awkwardness associated of having to draw another person into a task or activity that is essentially seen as a purely individual pursuit. When I went to the UK I saw my academic work, my thinking always strongly guided  by the shared, the communal - it wasn't a purely individual pursuit - my decisions were always shared; 'My supervisor and I come to this conclusion' it was never 'I decided to do x' - it was part of the social practice I associated with academic and intellectual work. But that has certainly shifted and I think this is what I'm trying to articulate in this story - four years ago I might not have battered an eyelid when shown the same amount of generosity and support. But today I fully recognise and appreciate it, because I've experienced different conventions and values associated with academic support.

And the point is...well simple, really; from a support stance - it's been a good visit, a productive visit, a visit filled with learning and seeing things differently. I'm a lucky fish, no doubt about that.