'It's my story and I'm sticking to it'

This is my new thesis writing mantra - thanks to LT who pointed me in the right direction today.

I'm 'writing' my Introduction chapter. Well technical I haven't really written a single word for the actual chapter but I've been reading, thinking, mind mapping, pondering, contemplating, scratching my head in anticipation of officially writing this chapter. It's not going to be a long chapter, I'm hoping 3000-4000 words. But this is where I introduce my story and create the path for the journey I want to take the reader on. It locates me, my study, my argument, the purpose of this whole freaking three years plus process. Without it I can't really get to the conclusion or start to integrate and connect all the bits of the thesis together in a cohesive whole.

Lot's of things are bubbling away in my head - unfortunately I've been reading as a delaying strategy so I'm being torn in many different directions and I need to find my grounding. It's coming though, I can feel it and my mind maps are becoming more specific and focuses on the point I want to make. I'm also aware that I'm dragging my baggage with me and ,as was highlighted to me today, my baggage might not be appreciated by my examiners. But I need to write what I have to write in this first iteration of the chapter and then I can become more sensitive to the reader. It will all come together. I can feel it.

Reminds me of something else which has annoyed me this past week. Writing a PhD thesis is more than a list of freaking 10 essential 'things to do' (or something one can accomplish in three months) stripped of all its complexity, contestations, struggles, complexity and contextual life... unfortunately this quick fix, easy-does-it approach is being promoted by the OU - probably to justify it's strong push to get students to finish their degrees in three years and not accepting any excuse (save near-death) when this ideal is not met. A blatant promotion of a deficit discourse of student writing if ever I saw it. Who the hell can live up to this unrealistic ideal?