Identity and audience

I've been wondering about how my perception of who I am writing this blog for is structuring, regulating and changing what I write. I haven’t really looked ‘objectively’ at the changes in my writing – but I know it is happening as a result of my awareness of 'audience'. At supervision on Thursday I mentioned to my supervisors that I had a blog and they both asked for the link. I was reluctant to pass it on, because I felt if they were reading my thoughts, confusions and possibly even comments about them – how open and honest would I be with those very feelings and thoughts? I’ve raised this point about audience previously and I’m looking forward to exploring some theoretical positioning about voice, identity and audience when I return to the conceptual work within the academic literacies field. For now I think my supervisors (and anyone else out there in cyberspace) need to ‘search’ for my blog and if they find it – well, hell I can’t stop them from reading it, and I might not even know that they are reading it. The fact that I have chosen to write this using an open platform like the internet means that there is a possibility anyone and everyone with access to the internet can read my blog (unless I block their e-mail address of course...*evil grin*!). But for me to explicitly tell them where to find it would place way too much pressure on my shoulders to ‘write for them’ and I already feel enough of that ‘invisible’ pressure to construct a particular identity of myself through what I write. As Bahktin says, if I understand his work correctly, very act of 'speech' is dialogically, there is therefore always an audience, even if that audience is yourself.