For a while now my story has been one of missed deadlines, struggles with my writing, struggles with my supervisors, struggles with the PhD. Overall just a total mediocre showing on my part - everything that could, did go wrong. In a way I accepted the missed deadlines and all the other struggles and problems - I accepted them and readjusted my plans and continued on, only to miss the next deadline or fail to deliver the standard of work I wanted at the next deadline. It just seemed so easy to give in and not to push myself a little bit more. Recently, I asked myself 'Where is the Lynn of the past? The Lynn who wouldn't settled for anything but the best effort?' She is gone and only a shadow remains in her place. If there is one positive thing my ex-students seem to remember me by is that I did not accept mediocre efforts - I always pushed them to deliver their best. 'Where is that Lynn?'
I'm going to try again. Yes, yet again because what else is there to do except to try again. I'm not ready to give up that much I know. I've got about five weeks to construct Draft 1 on my new timetable and I need to deliver it. I need to detach from all the specific 'issues' and focus on the global - the general theme for the thesis, the overall argument, making the argument visible throughout the thesis, getting a basic but coherent general story running through the entire thesis. This is the task at hand. I have to put aside 'Life' happening all around me and push forward - what a bumpy four years I've had - but five immediate weeks to try again.
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| Where I currently am - What I've done to date |
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| Where I need to get to and what I need to do to get there |
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