a non-writing distracting week

I was completely distracted last week. I hardly did any writing even though I really needed to make some concrete progress on an analysis chapter. I was all over the place and as the week wore on I almost surrendered to the fact that the week had been a waste. Of course I kept thinking (and feeling guilty) that I would never be able to make up this lost time. It was gone forever. But the week brought into focus how so much of what I'm doing seems to be such a deeply psychological process. It's all about the health and state of my mind, my emotional well being, my self confidence and self esteem, the degree to which I am able to be positive and think positively about myself and my space in the world. And this past week was really a battle on all these fronts.

On a brighter note - supervision was painless. We were discussing my review of the South African HE landscape. I feel the essence of the argument I'm making is still  unrefined. It needs to be sharpened and more precise - but I also know it will come, with more discussion and feedback from colleagues in SA and when I am more clear about how it fits into the overall thesis story. I now have only two supervisions and two major deadlines before I return to CT in September. There's so much ambiguity and mixed feelings in this realisation as the end of my four year sojourn is finally becoming concrete. This is a difficult one.