African blue skies

Walking to the OU this morning I was overcome with the heaviness of the grey cover above me - a small sliver of blue tried hopelessly to make its presence felt. Its been almost four week since the sun and blue sky went away. It hasnt been raining but its just grey, grey, grey. It's the grey skies that's most depressing thing about living in England for me. It forms this oppressive greyness blank that feels like its closing in on you and you can't escape.

Casting aside the depressive clouds - I feel rather light this morning, today. A sense that I can deal with whatever change I encounter. I also accepted today that even when you make a decision, one which you know is the right one, you still get haunted by feelings of doubt and uncertainty - as if your body and soul still need to adjust to the decision your brain has already made. So it takes a while for you - the whole you - to get comfortable and committ to the idea. I often struggle with this liminal period - after I've taken a decision, even when I know its the right one - its like I'm having  mini fights inside me, with contesting views and contradictory feelings and actions almost surfacing unconsciously. Why am I saying all of this then? Well things are changing in my life and I'm working through those changes and little by little I'm getting used to a future that is very different than my present.

Blog written, now on to the serious business of the day - discussion about the format of the online post-graduate forum, supervision meeting notes to compile, revisiting my paper for publication (yes this is now firmly on the agenda and my supervisors gave me some insightful feedback and encouragement yesterday) and reading a couple of pages from Multimodality - a social semiotic approach to contemporary communication. Sounds like an exciting day.