I'm in slight panic mode...again. Just completed a written review of multimodality and its possible value to my research study and I've realised that I haven't done enough work to inform the piece. I have about 8 references - so does it mean that since I've been in South Africa I have only read 8 pieces of literature? That doesn't seem like a moderately decent level of work and engagement for a PhD student. I thought I've been working consistently - and when you get up everyday and head for the library that might be a reasonable assumption one could make. But now when staring the 'output' straight in the eye, that assumption seems to be shattered. Thinking back on all the activities I have undertaken since I got here, I seem to have gotten my priorities all messed up - I've devoted so much of my time to servicing other people's needs and requests while setting aside my own work priorities, always thinking, "I'll catch up". I finished writing the piece at 10:30 this morning thanks to my niece who I had to drop off at school for 8am. But I've only just completed the editing process and still need to read through it one last time. What happen to all that time in between? "If I was MK" I say to myself, this piece would have been done and dusted by mid afternoon...maybe?!
Work/Life balance...its always tricky and doubly so when you don't have your 'own' space to comfortably retreat to. My lesson, when I return to Cape Town for my fieldwork I need to ensure that I create a comfortable work space that doesn't act against any energy and enthusiasm I have for my work. Being here longer will also allay my fears about making sure that I spend enough time with everyone important to me (again when I think about it I wonder if I have spent my time wisely giving the priority people in my life here in Cape Town my time or if I have rather just squandered my time on meaningless and unimportant activities).
This little moment has also made me reflect on a ongoing debate I have about how much is enough work or what is an appropriate pace for a PhD student? Followed by a big, big 'sigh'
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