A year ago I was in Milton Keynes preparing for my Probationary Review mini-viva. The soccer world cup had just started in South Africa and I was pinning to be back in the country of my birthday. This year I'm contemplating having to move back to the UK after spending six glorious and productive months in Cape Town. I've been reluctant to blog about my imminent return to the UK because I've been really busy trying to focus on the positive aspects of this necessary (?) activity scheduled to occur at the end of June. I'm simply trying to process the whole thing myself and while most practitioners of active and critical would probably highlight the benefits of using writing as a means to tap into the 'processing' I'm referring to here - this type of writing is just too hard for me at the moment, it's too personal, it's too raw, it's too messy, it's not ready for such a public platform. So I haven't been writing.
I had an awkward, but honest conversation with my supervisors last Monday, where I tried my best to explain the complexity of my feelings associated with having to return back to the UK to complete the final 15 months of my PhD scholarship. I did my best, but it's hard to explain, to an 'official' representative, my deep affectively motivated response to the prospect of having to uproot myself from a place where I feel complete (well almost!). I'm fully committed to completing the PhD, I'm just considering where I might be able to complete that PhD. It's a conversation that I've started, but one without a conclusion as yet - I suspect that any viable conclusion can only be mediated once I get back to the UK.
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